i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
