Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
