Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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