The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
