If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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