the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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