I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
