im about as happy as oj after his trial
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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