there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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