It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
