My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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