I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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