Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
