Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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