I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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