love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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