Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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