NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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