After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
