Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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