uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
