I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
