he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She needs sedatives and a leash
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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