I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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