when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
They should really pass out barf bags in church
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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