he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i out mim tonsoeep
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
