...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
