Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
