Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
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