dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize