it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
