You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
well, you know. whores of a feather.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
