You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
