he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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