There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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