you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
