the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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