she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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