google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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