this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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