I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
