Taylor Swift is so right about you.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
