Can Purell be used as lube?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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