At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
