drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My balls are so social today.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
