She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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