I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
