Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
