3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
