He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
