Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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