You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
