No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
