god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
