I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
