Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
