Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
