I CAN MOONWALK!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
