So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
