forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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